Monday, 2 March 2015

The Great Iced Coffee Conspiracy

When did flavoured milk lose its innocence and become all grown up?  Maybe it’s just in my neck of the woods but it seems there’s a conspiracy afoot in the form of a secret war being waged in the world of flavoured milk and I don't like it. Not one bit.

What am I talking about?  Iced bloody coffee is what!  Everywhere you look it’s nothing but iced coffee and it’s steadily squeezing its alternate flavoured brethren out of the marketplace and it needs to stop.  Seriously, how many varieties of the one flavour do we really need?  Extreme Iced Coffee, Double Shot, Barista Blend, Double Mocha,  Blow Your Head Off Quadruple Shot and so on but the fact is it’s all the same flavour.  Does this make me a flavour snob? Probably.  But they're stealing my childhood memories and casting them aside like a used Tetra pack.

It's everywhere!
And I don’t like iced coffee.

Now before you accuse me of being anti-iced coffee (which I suppose I am otherwise there’s no real point to this post), my biggest gripe is supermarkets are playing right into the iced coffee cartel’s hands and stocking every conceivable iced coffee variant everywhere you turn!  I'm convinced it's some sort of push to get everyone addicted and I question what they intend to do when they get a hold over enough people, suddenly stop supply until the caffeine army does their bidding? Well I'm onto your evil plan and I will have no part of it!

I consider myself a bit of a flavoured milk aficionado, it was my drink of choice as I was growing up in Melbourne and as far as I was concerned there was only one brand worth drinking and that brand was Big M.  During these formative years it was the hey-day of flavoured milk, oh the choices we had!  The flavour scientists at the Big M labs were nothing short of geniuses!  Flavours like Choc-Berry (chocolate AND strawberry together!), Pine Lime, Egg Flip, Blue Heaven, Honeycomb, Jaffa plus the staples like chocolate, strawberry, caramel and yes, iced coffee but I’ll allow it given they weren’t trying to shove just that one flavour down our throats.  This was a time of true flavour equality and every flavour had the chance to be king. Take note Big M, don't follow the trend!

Big M
Look at those flavours!

I haven’t lived in Melbourne for a long time so I’d like to think some of these more exotic flavours are still available but up here in North Queensland if you can manage to see past the walls of iced coffee you might be lucky to find a chocolate or strawberry and if the stars have aligned you might happen upon an elusive caramel but with so much iced coffee in the way it’s nigh on impossible.  Plus the choices are limited to inferior brands that ultimately turn your excitement into bitter disappointment.  And what of the exotic flavours I mentioned earlier? Nowhere to be seen.

I don’t know what the solution is, maybe a flavoured milk revolution, an iced coffee boycott or maybe a ‘Say NO to Iced Coffee’ campaign.  Whatever we do, we need to send a message that not everyone likes iced coffee!!

What was your flavour of choice growing up? 

Note: This is NOT a sponsored post but Big M, if you read this I really like chocolate and caramel. And Egg Flip. And Choc-Berry.  But not the UHT stuff, that’s sacrilege.

Linking up with With Some Grace for #FYBF